Why is Barney green and purple? Because the producers of the show decided to make him that way.

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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An elephant walked into a bar. By bar I mean jungle. Elephants aren't capable of walking into a bar.

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Justin Beiber walks into a bar. The bartender does not serve him because he is not the legal drinking age yet.

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I saw a stray dog the other day So I petted it and got on my way.

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What's the quickest way to a person's heart? A knife

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What did the asian say to the President of the United States? I don't speak English

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What did the orphan say to his parents? nothing

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what types of people have big noses? people whose parents both carried the recesive gene.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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why was the little boy sad? he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Man: You know what sucks? Other man: What? Man: Diarrhea... Know what's worse? Other man: No, what? Man: The smell.

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An Asian person drove home safely.

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What is funny? Your football official having a heart attack

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Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry and lost man passes by and considered eating one of the muffins. Unfortunately he can't make a decision in time and took of in his 4-wheel drive. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin the camel ate was poisoned. The now not so hungry and lost man looks at the dead camel and noticed the zoo is almost closing now. So he left in a hurry, to cook for his family.

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what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

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That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

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a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

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Why did Obama give a speech? Because he is the president and people look up to him

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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So an African American man and another man of Hispanic, more specifically Mexico, are riding in the backseat of a car, who's driving? Probably their private chauffeurs, but most definitely not someone related to the Police Department.

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Nero, I can barely stay awake, can we chat more later today though? I would really enjoy that, and sleep before that.

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what did the man say to the other man he bumped into? sorry. and they never saw eachother again

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What would have happend if martin Luther king was white? I don't know he wasn't so it's irrelevant

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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