Why did the bus drive off the cliff? It's driver happened to be a tomato.

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Q: what is an anti-joke? A: Coffee Volvos

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What did the monster under the bed say to another monster? I have the odd feeling that someone is on top of the bed.........

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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What did the world's greatest bowler say when he got a gutterball? "Spare me the irony!" Get it? It's because he's made of metal.

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Why did The white man loose his black friend? Because he ran away.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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What did the pineapple say to the cucumber? Nothing...the pineapple was incapable of speech, for twas only an infant.

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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What's black and white and read all over? Michael Jackson. I spelled "red" wrong.

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Q: How many black people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: One

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Two girls are backpacking in the Sierra Nevada. They walk 8 km from their base camp at a bearing of 42 degrees. After lunch, they document the wildlife they have seen because they are tracking the populations of species native to the area. Then they continue on their hike, but this time at a bearing of 127 degrees. After 5 km, they reach their destination for the day and set up a temporary camp.

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

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Did You Hear about the Black Guy That went to College?....Neither Did I...

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Why do dyslexic people stink at typing? c k j a h s d i u p q h g n z v m n k b e r t y o f This is why...

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I have magical powers. Try your best to not to follow these instructions: Ready? Go. You are now blinking your eyes. (strike 1) You are now breathing voluntary. (strike 2) You suddenly have an itch somewhere on your body. (strike 3) You lost. Thanks for playing my little game. Hope you enjoy thinking of a flying pink elephant with wings.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: the driver is a loaf of bread

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What do you get when you cross a leopard and Chuck Norris? I don't know. Probably something like a furry yellow Chuck Norris with black spots and sharp teeth.

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What's the difference between ten dead babies and a Ferrari? There's no Ferrari in my garage.

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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Q) What do you call a black president? A) Mr. President

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what does a baby with no lims get for christmas...cancer

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what did one toilet say to the other toilet? i would love to flush u

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What did the scarf say to the hat? Nothing, a scarf can't talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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