Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than that? Two dead babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than that? Two dead trees naild to a baby.

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What did the dubstep say? Wub.

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knock knock who's there? pizza man ok

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What does the kid with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A: arms and legs

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4 score and 7 years ago was 1965

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what has two feet and is black all over? your mom after she died in a horrific house fire.

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Why is Joe is ugly? I dont Know

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Why was 6 scared of me? cause i ate 9

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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-What do you do when the dishwasher is broken? -Slap HER!

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What happened when the Asian girl got a B on her report card? She committed suicide

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What do you call a growing family of micro-organisms? Cancer

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What did Stevie Wander get for christmas? A book

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Q:How many Elephants can you fit in a Audi quatro? A:It just sits on a leaf and waits for the autumn... Moral: Just sits on a three and waits for it to turn into four.

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How do you make money? Kill babies and sell them.

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How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? Ten tickles

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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What did the mother give her family on christmas? Some gelt, dreidels, and Challah because it also happened to be Chanukah on Christmas that year

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why is it good to be a fireman? because they save lives

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An American man and a Chinese man have a conversation. The American man asks the Chinese man after a couple of minutes of speaking, "How long have you lived in the United States?" The Chinese man replies, "I moved to the United States when I was ten years old."

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How many NRA members does it take to change a lightbulb? MORE GUNS!

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how did helen keller's parents punish her? stuck a plunger in the toilet

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Knock knock. Who's there? AV. AV who? Asshole vison. Now that's Amusement Vision. (Remembering Amusement Vision...)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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