A Muslim walks into a bar, and has a pint of lager because he has chosen to integrate into his host country's culture. He then leaves without incident.

why did Susay fall of the swing? Cause she had no arms

Do you know why I am excited? I don't know I'm asking you.

Whats black, white, and Asian all at the same time? A panda

Q. What is the worlds biggest lie A. I have read and agree to the terms of service ?

Why didn't the guy have kids? He didn't want them

yolo your orange looks orange

Knock Knock. Not home.

What's better than finding a $5.00 bill on the floor? Finding the person who actually owns it.

guy walks into a bar, ouch

A blind man walks into a book store. He asks if they have any books in Braille. The employee says "Yes! Many you haven't even seen before!"

Sugar is sweet. Plums are too. Prison rape isn't funny either.

Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

A man walks into a bar. He goes up to the Bar Tender and says, "Hit me with all you got!" The bar tender then ducks down under the bar out of sight. He comes back up with a sledge hammer and viciously murders the man. Blood spews everywhere and many others are brutally murdered shortly afterwards. :)

There is a newly wed couple, a biker and his biker lady friends. The newly wed man says to his wife, "Pass the honey, honey". One of the biker chicks looks over. Five minutes later the man says to his wife, "Pass the sugar, sugar". They biker chick looks back at them and then asks the biker man, "Why don't you treat us like that?" " You know your right. Pass the bacon... lovely". And from that day on the bikers lived in peace and harmony.

What do you call a girl with no arms and legs? Whatever her name is.

What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY KEVIN CRUMMY

There's a white guy and a black guy, on a bridge. Of corse the idiot white guy jumps off. But the black guy yells, I NEVER LIKED U!!!!! Later that day the police showed up and asked wat happened. The black guy said, U GOT NO EVIDENCE!!! The police say true and walk away. Then go to Dunkin Donuts and get a triple chocolate donnut and coffee. They lived happily ever after. Except for the white guy. :)

Once there was a dog, another one came to it and then there were two.

How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

One day a terribly epileptic child is put on on a strict Atkins diet by his loving mother. A week later he finds that the frequency and intensity of his seizures have been reduced by its ketogenic effects, which provides exogenous fats for the body to burn, but limits the available carbohydrate so that ketone bodies build up. It is the high level of these ketones which appear to suppress seizures.

Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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