:Knock Knock :Who's there? :....... No one was there because they were ding dong ditchers.

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Your momma's so fat, she died on the operating table during her bypass surgery.

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How many babies can you fit in a blender? Depends how hard you push.

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The last head of Satan, is oh but what you blamed upon Your faults, Your sins. The thoughts of Madness written here, yet potent enough to cloud Your thoughts.... Wait not forever children of man, as eternity is at its peak, the false prophet IS AMONGST US! But what side is he on? The last ditch attempt to protect humanity from a raging jealous vengeful God? Say it is not so! Say that darkness is not the only thing standing against you and eternal damnation... ...Yet you killed his only true child, you stole his name, his essence... Even his Identity... ...Even the Angels white are powerless to stop him, Your maker, Your true maker, for what is the grief of the holy, from which you took his only son... ...As you celebrate once and once anew... :...Merry CHRISTmas, to all of those of you all now left behind... Celebrate it well, as before the world reaches 2017, is where it all ends...

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What's black and red, and covers most of your body? Fourth degree burns. You should say your goodbyes.

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Why did the baby die? Because you had sex with it when it was only 1 years old.

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Cyrus: Can you dig it?! Phil: I can feel it calling in the air tonite……..oh lord

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Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who? Knock knock? Who's there? Alzheimer's, Alzheimer's who?

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What has equally bad consequences as breaking someone's leg in front of the local authorities? Breaking your own leg on purpose in front of the local authorities.

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Your momma is so fat, her doctor recommended exercising more and eating healthier.

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Q. What did batman say to Robin before they got in the car? A. Get in the car Robin.

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what do you call lots of jews on a train? Call them what you want they aren't coming back!

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How did Helen Keller's Parents punished her? The put a doorknob on her door.

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Q: What is the difference between a potato chip and a frog? A: Neither one of them is a flower.

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Jake pulled out a gun and held it to his head, planning to fool his friends because he knew the gun was empty. Then his friend thought he was helping out his suicidal friend by stabbing him.

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How many feminists does it take to change a light bulb? That's not funny.

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As I sat waiting for the doctor to return with my final prognosis, I began contemplating my own mortality. Looking inside myself, one question continued to haunt me: “What’s the X-ray technician going to do when he walks in and sees me messing with the equipment?”

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What do you give a homeless person? Poop in a bottle.

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Why couldn't the boy talk? He had his fathers hairy scrote was in his mouth

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A man is working at a bar. He feels a fly graze his left index finger, which has become a bit sweaty. The man rubs the finger for a moment, then continues to slice grapes for a customers synthetic japanese glue farm.

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why did the man break his arm? he didn't, someone else broke it for him

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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