What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Are those two people having sex? Yes, I think they are.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the road cross the chicken? Well, according to Einstein's Theory of Special Relativity, if you and the chicken were to cross the road simultaneously, your perspective, relative to the chicken, would remain unchanged. Therefore, the road would appear to move underneath the chicken, which would seem to be performing some style of polka dance.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What time is it in China right now? I have no idea, it would depend on when you are reading this. Perhaps you should look at a world clock, watch, or some other sort of time-telling device rather than humorous website. Its purpose is not to tell time. However, there are many other places for this. Good luck surfing the web, friend. I have aided you the best that I can. I only hope that you will find what you are looking for.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

ok, so a blue flower in a meadow dances valiantly, while being watched by a chipmunk. the king of the sky fairies ate an apple and a chicken and a pear, and a cumkwuat and frog legs and a bone and a library and a jeep and fig and a rhino and a sword but fairies don't have that big of mouths to eat all of that, so this never happened

thumb_up thumb_down -19

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red violets are blue... Only not really. Actually light is reflected off them and these colors show up soo....

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black man that nicks your car? All we can say is that he is called the Nig

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: What was the name of the armless elf in Snow White? A: Stumpy

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Uh Erron, you know, I do not spend most of the time before this computer or studying because I am popular nor anything, so that`s one thing, and yeah, I never done it with anybody so yeah, uhh lucky me or something.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Where do dizzy cows go? In circles...

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Did you hear about the sea cow who sang "Part of your Herd?" It was the Little Moomaid.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the little boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas?? Nobody knows because he had no arms, therefore he could not open any presents.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

I kinda said I did not want to know, sooo... Want to meet up tomorrow? Like for realsies? In that case tell me first (then show me tomorrow as proof), your cough... Vagina, I dont care if its shaven or not, but does it have red hair?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a black astronaut? An astronaut you racist

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

When did Rick Santorum realize he was gay? When we woke up with a bloody condom in his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what's worse than finding 8 dead babies in 1 trash can?....... 1 dead baby in 8 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Adam Chebali is awesome

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why did the boy fall over? Because he got hit by a car. Follow forever.art7 on Insta.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A blonde and a brunette jump off a building, who hits the ground first? The one that jumped first

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do chinese name their kids? They drop silverware

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A woman asked a man in an elevator, "Did you fart?" The man honestly replied, "Yes. I didn't expect you to notice because it was the puffy kind."

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops