A sad guy walks in to a bar and the bartender asks, what's the matter? The guy responds, I just found out i'm deaf

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worse than getting a apple and finding a worm in it. Getting hit in the face with a meteorite.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why did the asian wearing a sombrero buy orange juice at 2am? because hes trying to stay sober and do away with alcohol for good because its ruining his family and he wants to be a good father and husband.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the Honey Badger cross the road? A: Honey Badger don't care!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: The farmer decided it was too cruel to fence in the animal, however getting run over by a car was a fate... not worse than death because it died.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Why did the chicken cross the road? ... To get to your house. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Who's looking for judicial toenail clippings?

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Robin, get in the car!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

whats more annoying than being raped by a giant scorpian? finding out that half the anti-jokes are terrible

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How many black people does it take to change a lightbulb? none, you can't see them in the dark. Vincent

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Guest-knock knock (silence) Guest-hello is anyone there? no go away Guest-looks like there is no one here lets leave

thumb_up thumb_down -20

haha black people :D

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the white man say to the black man that sneezed? -Bless you.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

the man walk in to the shop and brought a pet nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a gun.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Have you ever tried Ethiopian food? No. Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Thumbs up if you're reading this in 2015!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why was 7 afraid of 8? Because 8 knifed 10.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

what will hit the ground first an apple or Obama The apple, obama was stopped by a rope

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops