What did the black man say while getting mauled by a jungle cat? "Help im dying", as the animal riped him peice by peice with fear in his eyes he died slowly as the jungle cat draged him back to its den helplessly he fades away and the animal eats him.

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What do an onion and a hamster have in common? They are both in my Grandma's omelette.

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In Soviet Russia, people commonly suffered under the might of the communist juggernaut. It was unpleasant.

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Why did the homeless man steal food from the local grocery store? He had not eaten in three days and was forced to steal or risk possible starvation.

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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Two men walk in to a bar. The first man says "I'll have some H20" The second man says "I'll have some H20, too." They both received glasses of water.

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Yo momma so ugly that she is unpleasant to look at

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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whats red and smells like cherries red cherries

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Why do midgets laugh when they run? The grass tickles their balls.

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What did the Farmer say when he lost his tractor? "Where's my tractor?"

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why did the white man read the New York Times? because HuffPo is horrible. I mean, it's so so so shitty. it's like a wannabe buzzfeed, which ought to say it all.

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There once was a boy walking over a railroad track. He got hit by a train. He died.

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i just wrote this so hard

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A muslim walks into a gun shop

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Ily bae

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Why doesnt snow like Asians? Snow is a form of precipitation within the Earth's atmosphere in the form of crystalline water ice, consisting of a multitude of snowflakes that fall from clouds. Since snow is composed of small ice particles, it is a granular material. It has an open and therefore soft structure, unless packed by external pressure. Snowflakes come in a variety of sizes and shapes. Types which fall in the form of a ball due to melting and refreezing, rather than a flake, are known as graupel, ice pellets or snow grains. Therefore since snow is unhuman they are then thus incapable of emotions because they lack any vitals organs.

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How many Polacks does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One. A person's ethnicity or country of origin, or religion for that matter, would have no bearing on one's ability to perform the relatively simple task of installing a light-bulb. Furthermore, there is no reason to use the negative slur 'polack' when referring to a person of Polish descent.

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Q why did the kids make fun of timmy A because he was an android with al chunk of metal added accidentally where a real boys crotch would be. Bwilkster

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A Christian, a Sunni Muslim, and a Shi'a Muslim walked into a government building. Turns out, they were Lebanese, so this was a normal occurrence. Thus, to draw any humor from it before first taking into account the weaknesses of your own government would be both unwise and unfair.

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a guy walks into a bar. he suffered a severe concussion. BECAUSE THE BAR A POLE

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There is no "I" in "TEAM" However, there is a "T" an "E" an "A" and an "M"

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A 10 year old underpriveledged boy goes to the second mile camp and meets his new counselor: Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky. The two bond very much and talk a lot. Sandusky invites the boy back to the locker room to shower because the boy got muddy. The boy takes a shower, gets clean, and goes back to his cabin. The boy has a great time at the camp and goes home.

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Ask me if i'm a tree. Q: Are you a tree? A: No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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