Why does ISIS want guns? Because they wanted to kill. Duh.

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Why was the Islamic woman killed? She insulted Allah.

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Q: Why did Katie fall off the swing? A: She had no arms. Knock, Knock Who's There? Not Katie.

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender says "why the long face?" the horse then says nothing because horses cannot talk, only humans can talk.

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An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because yo mama so fat and the pig ate my poop

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how many jews can you fit in a car? 2 in the front and 3 in the back depending on how many people decide to go

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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How did the hairless cat braid its hair? It didn't, it was hairless. Also, cats do not have opposable thumbs.

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Two little boys are talking to each other: - My dad's dick is soo biig! - Eh, my dad's dick is small but it still hurts...

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Q: What do you get when you cross a chimpanzee and a zebra. A: A crossover between a chimpanzee and a zebra, mixed together.

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

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A Penguin walk into a bar and asks "Have you seen my brother?" And the bartender replies "What does he look like?"

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Yo mamma is SO fat, she is classified as fat.

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops