Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

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What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

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Why was Helen Keller a bad driver? Because it is very difficult for someone with a vision impairment to operate a vehicle.

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Q: why did the chicken cross the road A: you are adopted

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Not to a blind guy.

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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What is black and burns really well? charcoal.

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How do you scare a blonde? Paint yourself yellow and call yourself big bird.

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whats black and white and red all over? this joke.

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whats the best kind of chocolate bar? a larsbar

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What isyellow and can't swim? a bulldozer

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Knock knock. Who's there? I eat mop. I eat mop who? (I eat ma poo) Haha. ~Ali M.~

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Who is a pussy? Jeff Misner

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

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What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

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What did the taxi driver say when the black man got in to his taxi? Where to sir?

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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What did the cover say when it fell off the bed? Oh sheet!

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Roses are Red, Violets are Red, Everything is Red, Retinal Hemorrhage.

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What is more disappointed the Lake Disappointment? You

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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Yo mama so fat because it's in her genes.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead! Why did the bird fall out of the tree? It was attatched to the monkey! Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? .....................peer pressure

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So an alien walks into a bar......... and everyone runs away secreaming because theres an alien in the bar.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops