An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

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what's worse than 24? 6 million.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? AIDS

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what did the astronaut say to the rocket scientist? hi

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Mary had a little lamb... The doctor fainted

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What do you do to vegetables to make them taste good? Nothing. They are still people, and they can't speak up for themselves.

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what do u call a 50 yr old man at disneyland a rapist

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!

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what's the difference between rice and an asian? one is a food.

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kids make accidents in the backseat of your car but u and your wife made an accident in the backseat and thats how you got that rottten troll that makes accidents in the car!!

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Dylan F is stupid He goes to his cousins house Then falls into a pit Moves on

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Dave: Heyy Steve! Steve: Oh heyy Dave! Dave: The word of the day is legs! Steve: so? Dave: So lets go back to your place and spread the word? Steve: ....How about right now? ;) Both: HEY EVERYONE..WE'RE GUNNA HAVE SEX!

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What do you get if you cross a sheep with a kangaroo? Don't be ridiculous. First of all, scientifically this is near impossible and secondly, what use would a kangaroo with wool be? Sheepdogs would become obsolete and they would be a nightmare to shear. Imbecile.

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This planking craze is really taking over... my elderly nextdoor neighbour has been planking in her garden for three days straight!

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Twilight is so bad, I read it and personally didn't like it as a book.

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"This is what kind of fail class?" "AN EPIC FAIL!"

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I used to take arrows to the knee but then I didn't, for no particular reason.

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What's long, dark, and smelly? The unemployment line.

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Why Was the student driver using his cell phone in the car? Because he had gotten in a mild accident with a midsized sedan so he was quickly dialing his AAA agent for roadside assistance so he can get back to his loving family and three children

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Do I ever ask yo a question that I havn't given you the answer to Mr Hearty.

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knock knock come in

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How many dead kids can you fit into a plastic bag in your trunk? Ask Kasey Anthony

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What's red and green And moves at 300mph A frog in a blender

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Try not to laugh at this joke... Knock knock Who's there? Ha ha ha Ha ha ha who? I told you not to laugh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops