Why did Prius driver go to jail? Because he ran over someone and then fled the scene of the crime (at 11 mph)

Why could a fat man not do a barrel roll? He has already to many rolls.

A man cooks dinner almost every night even though his wife is the better cook, and the man is in charge of the household. Why? Because the man isnt a sexist douchebag.

What do you tell your dad if he constantly gripes about his balls? He's got testicular cancer and he's going to die a horrible painful death.

I've got a dig bick. You that read wrong. You also read the second sentence wrong.

ew. I wouldn't sleep with you if you were the last man on earth! ...that's what she said!

What do u call a gay dinosaur? Dinosaurs don't exist

What does bigfoot have? Big feet.

What do u call a man who is smart. A lawyer/ genius/ smart man

A man walks into a bar with a monkey...I forget the rest but your mother is a hor.

Ever heard of carpel tunnel? Well after that girl it was more like carpal toungal

What's the hardest part about blending a baby? My D**K

What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

Knock knock Whos there Your Ma Your Ma who Your ma's in jail!!!

What did the snowman put on his head? Nothing; snowmen are inanimate.

What's Worse Than World War I 2 World War I's

Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

Did you know that Hellen Keller had a roller coaster in her backyard? Neither did she

What do you call a child sitting alone in the back of a bus? Anti-social and on the verge of depression.

What do you get when two chickens cross a road? -Salmonella stricken hobos

"So can we take the rest of the schoolday off?" the students asked. The teacher then asked: "Why?" The students explained: "Because some of us live far away and it's impossible to get through the masses of snow, especially if the snowfall continues like this." "Well, I can't give you time off, because the principal haven't said it has snowed enough just yet." he responded.

Hey babe, do you like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people? Because I like video games, movies, mystery books, philosophy, walking in the park, going to the gym, riding bicycles, traveling around the world, and meeting new people.

A black man walks in to a 7 Eleven with a gun in his left pocket. He innocently walks over to the place where they keep all the hostess treats, and decides to purchase a pack of crumb donuts. The gun was purely for self defense, it was a bad neighborhood.

How can you treble the value of any Skoda car? Ensure its paintwork, upholstary, floor, lights, wipers, steering wheel, brake, horn, CD player, radio and clutch are clean and/or sound; fill its petrol tank, oil, brake and winscreen wiper fluid reserves; fit a roof rack; include a red triangle, a fire extinguisher, a blanket and a first aid kit in the sale; take out comprehensive insurance and pay a year's road tax and MOT before selling it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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