how do you make a plumer cry kill his family

Knock Knock Who's there? Boo. Boo Who? Boobies.

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

A man and a six year old boy are walking along a path through the woods on a moonless night. "Gee mister, I'm scared!" says the boy. "You're scared?" says the man. "I have to walk back alone!"

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato

A kid walks into a bar and the bartender yells, "Get Out!"

what do you call a shitty anti-joke? A shitty anti-joke.

A man walks inta pet store looking for a dog. All he finds are cats.What did he end up buying. A weasel

Two blonds walk into a bar, the brunette ducked

Elephants can't jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

Why did the racist guy die? Because the black guy stabbed him with a fork.

What did the man say before he got stabbed? What are you going to do, stab me?

why did sally fall off the swing cause she had no arms knock knock who's there? not sally

Your momma is so old, she qualifies for multiple financial aid programs provided by the government.

What do you call a baby with no arms or legs? You call a lawyer, and be sure to have him ask the mother if she took Thalidomide during pregnancy.

What is yellow, smooth, and dangerous? Shark-infested custard

What is big and wet and smells like mushrooms? A big wet mushroom.

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist bastard.

A man shaves at least 3 times a week, yet he has the longest beard in town, how is that possible? He shaves his head because he's embarrassed about his rampant and patchy balding.

What's worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

A bartender walks into a bar. I know what you're thinking. You think he works there but that is not correct. He works at a different bar. Anyways, he buys a few drinks and leaves. He was impressed with the service.

A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? ...You mean, you don't know?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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