A man falls out of a boat. What happens next? Well, you would think he'd know how to swim, but due to his alzheimer's he didn't, so he drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

Roses are red Violets are blue Your window is open I'm watching you

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Q: Why did the Westboro Baptist Church picket the gay marine’s funeral? A: Homosexuals are a plague sent by Satan to destroy the fabric of America.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

What's worse than the Holocaust? The eventual extinction of humanity, followed by the death of the universe.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did one alien say to another alien? I miss Mexico.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than stubbing your toe? Slavery.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Knock knock. Who's there? The police, you murdered ten people.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How many babies does it take to paint a wall red? Depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did stevie get stabbed in the jugular by his sister? He was telling bad anti jokes.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock, Who's th- IMA FIRIN' MA LAZOR

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo mama is so fat that she is in a diet and wants to lose weight by eating healthy.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

why was there no toothpaste left in the toothpaste tub? someone squeezed it all in a drawer

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A man walks into a bar and probably sustains serious head injuries and possibly a concussion as most bars are usually made out of solid metals such as iron or steel and is therefore not permitted by his doctor to engage in sports or other rigorous activities for an allotted period of time depending on the degree of his injury.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why'd the black man smell awful... Because he hadn't showered in multiple days

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops