Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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What happened after Jimmy fell off the cliff? He died.

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If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

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What do you call a blind guy in a library? Kevin. Unless his name isn't Kevin.

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Did you know Helen Keller has a pool? no oh well she does.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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A dog walks into a bar. The owner got a fake service dog identification and everyone really enjoyed it.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? What are you doing here?

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Breaydn Simmons walked into a bar

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Once upon a time, there was a boy. He was 12 years old. He is dad was rich from his business and so when it came time for his 12 year old boy to turn 13 he insisted on buying the boy whatever he wanted. He thought that the imagination of a 12 year old boy might in fact humour him, even if the cost of such a present reached the millions. He asked his son "Son, a very special day's coming up", his son smirked "I know Dad". "Well, what would you like?" asked the Dad. His son pondered for several seconds before replying, "honestly Dad, all I want it 12 Pink Ping Pong balls". The Dad, curious and a little disappointed asked "of course son, but why?". His son replied "I can;t say, I'd just like them for my birthday please". And so on his thirteenth birthday, he indeed received 12 Pink Ping Pong balls. His Dad thought nothing of it until next year, when he asked his son "what would you like for your birthday this year son? A new 82-inch Tv for you toilet, or how about a new jet?". His soon blew the hair out of his eyes and said, "Dad, all I want is room full of Pink Ping Pong balls". His dad again agreed but asked "why Pink Ping Pong balls son?". His son replied "I'll tell you when I get them". True to his word when the boy turned 14, he received a whole room full of Pink Ping Pong balls and his Dad asked him "now why did you want them son". But his son replied "I'll tell you next year". Rather reluctantly his Dad agreed. and then he died.

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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A gorilla walks into a bar and gets a banana martini. The bartender thinks that this is peculiar, and then he realizes he is dreaming. He wakes up and tells his wife about this ridiculous dream that he had. His wife ignores him, and the man rolls over and begins to sob because he realizes that his marriage is in shambles.

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hey chris what yu doing wit my back pack? using it..

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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my mom died because she was morbidly obese

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I'm currently on a seafood diet That is, I only eat seafood.

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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How do you get an Orphan's hands to bleed? Tell them to clap till daddy gets home.

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catastrophic anthropogenic global warming

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what did the cop say to the robber... freeze bitch hope you like prison food and penis

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How many black people does it take to screw in a light bulb? I don't know, that's why I was asking.

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Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

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What glows in the dark and is really annoying? A glow in the dark chimpanzee

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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