A mother and her child run into the store... The mother opens the door, so the child does not run into the store again.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A) The color of their hair.

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how do you make Chuck Norris laugh? tell him an anti-joke.

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A man walks into a bar and sees a depressed looking giraffe. The man says, “Why the long neck?” The giraffe responds, “That’s not the expression.”

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Why do deer have horns? Because god made them that way.

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Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Christianity.

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, Pansies are green, I think I'm colorblind

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Why was the Jimmy Sad? Because he had Autism.

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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What is the best thing in the world? The opposite of the worst thing in the world.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Why do you never want to party with Lindsay Lohan? Because she's a drug abuser and a terrible influence.

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God hates fags, no...god i'snt real

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How many cops does it take to change a lightb- [Beaten to death by cops]

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Everyone believes in something. If you believe "you'll have another drink," you may be an alcoholic.

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What did the cricket say to the fox? Cricket.

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Yes!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!! Yes!!!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm locked in someone's basement, Please help me.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Q: What did the psychopath dream about? A: An insane chimpanzee kicking his head off, or maybe something normal

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What is the first letter of the alphabet? A. a B. 7 C. Mustard gas D. Because a penguin has 2 legs

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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