What is worse than getting stung by 1,000 bees? Getting stung by 1,001 bees.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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What do you call a man with a limp? A limping man.

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Why can't Michael Jackson swim? Because he is dead.

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Mr. T watched "the notebook"

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What did the audience watching inception say at the end ................ WAT THE FUK

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What's more sad then a dumpster full of dead babies? The live one at the bottom.

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Whats worse than hard cheese?Cheese DUH

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Why is my grandpa always so grumpy? Because he has diabetes and life is very difficult for him.

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How many Mexicans does it take to screw a lightbulb? None, they couldn't cross the border.

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cool story babe. now go make me a sammich.

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Q: What did Steve say to his teacher on the first day of school? A: "My name is Steve."

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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How come dinosaurs don't talk? Because they're dead.

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knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

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what do you call a man who go his head cut off in a car accident? dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he needed to go home.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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ert

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What color is a red house Red What color is a blue house Blue What color is a white house White What color is a green house Clear

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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A rapist and a little child walk through a dark forest. The little child says: "It's scary here." Rapist answers: "Tell me about, I gotta go back alone through here."

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when life gives you lemons throw them away.. they are probably bad

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops