Two scientists are working in a lab. The first one asks, "Do you want some sodium?" The second one pours acid into the first one's eyes.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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Nero, seriously, one way or the other, ill kill you, my mom blushes like every time people talk to her so fuck you, my sister if you touch her, ill.... Man, stop and ill forgive you, and I am very very sorry, now stop sending me those pics, and please do not post them anywhere, Line would not want to.

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Why didn't the woman have a penis? Because she was female.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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Teacher: Pop quiz time class. Sally, what year did we first land on the moon? Sally: It was 1969. Teacher: That is correct. Larry, who killed JFK? Larry: What? I didn't do it, I wasn't even born yet! Teacher: Just answer the question Larry: But sir, I swear I would never do that. You have to believe me. Teacher: Larry, you're an idiot

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What is brown and smells like sh!t Actual sh!t

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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Roses are red Violets are blue I've got to say I hate you!

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How do you unload a truck full of dead babies? With a pitch fork.

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Why did the old man die? He died because he saw the light wich happened to be a street light in the distance.

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Q: How do you keep a blond occupied for an hour? A: You write "flip over" on both sides of a blank piece of paper.

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I like it it the butt -Tyler James Nehring call me 863-670-1547

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Why was the cat unable to drink its milk? He was stapled to the wall

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How many tacos does it take to feed an angry person? You better tacover it!

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What's blue, red, and full of metal? Timmy in his favorite blue sweater, after he got hit by a truck.

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When life gives you lemons, squirt the juice in life's eyes. Then life won't trust you with lemons.

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justin beiber sucks

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What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

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Roses are red, Violets are purple, not fucking blue.

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What do you get when you stab a six year old with a pair of scissors and a machete? A very angry, potentially murderous mother out for revenge.

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I wanted to burn alot of calories so i found a fat kid and set him on fire. :3

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If Tigger was a black panther Christopher Robin would have named him Nigger.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the party? Skeletons can't move.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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