What 2 differences does a potato have in common? They both have very thin skin.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats the diffrence between a lawnmower and a sack of dead babies? I dont have a lawnmower in my garage

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what is worse than throwing a dead baby off a cliff? catching one with a pitchfork!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is McDonalds bad for you? Because their is so much fat in all its products, and contains many calories.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

YOUR MOTHER IS SO FAT that she sought a relevant support group. My understanding is that she tried Overeater's Anonymous and lost a few pounds, but it meant more that it improved her sense of self-worth. She's more comfortable with herself as a somewhat overweight woman, and a much happier person now. We're all very proud of her.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A Hispanic walks into an alleyway and sees two of his rich friends. He desperately needs money and only has enough time to shoot one of them because he sees the police following him. He decides which one to shoot... Wait, if he has enough time to think about this shouldn't he just shoot both of them?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the black kid get for Christmas? Presents

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get a black man out of a tree? You help him down.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was the little boy crying? he was at his mother's funeral.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many people of a certain demographic does it take to change a light bulb? x+1 (x >0), 1 person to change the lightbulb and x to behave in a manner consistent with the established stereotype of said demographic.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Q: Why did sally fall off the swing? A: Because she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Sally! How did Sally die? She couldn't figure out how to open the fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar He is now in the emergency room suffering from deep lacerations to the forehead as well as a bloody nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do u call a man who sells hot dogs on the street? A Mexican

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Hazel and Gus are two teenagers who share an acerbic wit, a disdain for the conventional, and a love that sweeps them on a journey. Their relationship is all the more miraculous given that Hazel's other constant companion is an oxygen tank, Gus jokes about his prosthetic leg, and they met and fell in love at a cancer support group.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

whats yellow after cani...nathan

thumb_up thumb_down +7

how do you make an idiot laugh? tell him a joke from antijoke

thumb_up thumb_down +7

There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A blonde girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she says. "Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear. "I said 'I'LL BE BACK TOMORROW AFTERNOON TO PICK UP MY DRESS'," says the girl, this time louder.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did the boy find I'n his water? Ice

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops