What do you call a guy named Bob hanging by a string? Plum Bob

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What do you call a shoe with no laces? Stilettos, sandals, flip flops, slippers, etc...

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A horse walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything or say anything because it is a horse. It proceeds to walk around and knock over a few tables before finding the door.

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whats worse than a leaf in your bed? World hunger, global warming, the economy......

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An man was tested positive for HIV. He then called his girlfriend and told her she should get tested.

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A thief walks into a bank. He has an account there and withdraws 200 bucks.

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knock knock... ....... no one replies.. the family is deff..

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Q: What do you get when you put an ice cube, a grasshopper, a cell phone battery, and a human finger in a freezer? A: A very strange mix of objects indeed.

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Red are roses Blue are violets Dyslexic am I.

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If you have a stroke, call 000

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YOU KNOW WHO ELSE LOVED AND NURTURED ME THROUGH MY CHILDHOOD YEARS? MY MOM.

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Why did Peter Piper pick a peck of pickled peppers? Peppers help strengthen his immune system.

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Why did the little boy viciously slash the orange object with a carving knife? Because it was Halloween.

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Q: What sound does a baby make when you put it in a blender? A: I don't know; I was too busy trying to find my camera.

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Q:How do you kill an Elephant? A:With an Elephant gun Q:How do you kill a blue Elephant? A:With a blue Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a purple Elephant? A:With a purple Elephant gun. Q:How do you kill a red Elephant? A:There is no such thing.

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What is funny about a cod swimming around alone in the ocean? Nothing, over-fishing is a huge problem in the modern day.

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An atom walks into a bar. Did it grow legs?

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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Roses are blue Violets are red This isn't humor The Hell's wrong with you?

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A. Did you hear about the circus fires? b. They were intense. (in tents)

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why can't Amy ride on the rollercoaster? Because she's under the height limit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why didn't the chicken cross the road?!

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How many babies does it take to tile a roof? Depends how thinly you slice them

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What does Jason say when he rages on cod ? I hope your family gets slaughtered in front of him ..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops