Why did santa cross the road? He didn't he is not real.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

When life gives you lemons you make orange juice so people will say "How the hell did you do that?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the best day of the week? Sponge

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: What did the tree say as he fell? A: Studies have shown plants in general do not have a voice box, thus making plants incapable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse does not reply as it is a horse and horses cannot speak. The bartender realises his stupid mistake and calls the farm the horse came from. The horse is taken back to the farm and fed some hay. The bartender carries on living his life and then dies of natural causes at a very old age.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Marsha say when she ate the apple pie? Nothing. It would be rude for her to talk with her mouth full.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's worse than a rapist? 2 rapists

thumb_up thumb_down +23

"Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is.." "'Well judging by the fact that there's no actual door in between us I'm pretty sure you can decide who it is' who?"

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: what white hard and huge and it can kill you if you fall out of a tree? A: a refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Knock knock Go fuck yourself

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you say when you see a flying donkey Wtf

thumb_up thumb_down +23

i'm here at a school my friend is eats a pool fuck yeh

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Your mother is so fat, when she stepped on a scale, it read quite a large number. She resolved to live healthier and exercise more.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what do u say when u steal something? STOLEN!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +23

whats worse than 10 dead babies in a bucket 5 are alive and eating the others

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Shltskc gw? G

thumb_up thumb_down +21

roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How many bears does it take to screw in a light bulb? None; it’s a fairly menial task requiring little more than a single human hand. Requisitioning any number of bears for the effort would be an extremely dangerous “Rube Goldberg”-esque solution to simple problem.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why was the student late for class? Because paraplegics can't drive.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

You Scream, I Scream, The cops come, It's awkward

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in a pool? Phil, because that's his name.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops