What happened when the little girl said Bloody Mary 3 times in the dark? - She got her head smashed in the mirror, all of her intestines were neatly ripped out and was stabbed to death with No.2 mechanical pencils. Then her parents came home from dinner to find their daughter brutally killed in her own room. They notified police, opened a case and gave up after 12 years of searching for her killer. Both parents cried for the amount of years their daughter had been gone and they both decided to kill each other. The father raped the mom while slitting the back of her neck that led to her head being detached. Then the father left his pick up truck running and through his head toward the engine, which didn't really work. So he went back inside and watched Three and A Half Men.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? Matters the size of the bathtub and the size of the babies.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was strapped to the first monkey.

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Only people of high intelligence can laugh at anti jokes.

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What's worse than the haulocost? Not much.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because I hit her with a shovel.

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a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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Charles missed the stop sign. Charles can't read.

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Did you hear about the guys who were going to France? Well they are not going anymore.

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Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

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Why did a black person beat a white person in a race? The white person was hindered because a polar bear was biting their leg the entire time.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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What is the difference between a peasant and a pheasant? One's a bird.

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Yo Mama is so fat that she should probably make an appointment with a bariatric surgeon.

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Q: What's worse than being raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by 2 giant scorpions, a fridge, some potatoes and a hule bunch of worms.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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White guy: I figure she's a gold digger, my neighbor. Black guy: Did you say the N word?

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knock knock whose there? banana? banana who? im sorry but you have to go to the doctor now.......

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper. No. A nun with a terrible nosebleed. Nobody ever reads the whole newspaper.

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What the last thing that went through Osama's mind? A bullet

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Your momma is so fat, shes skinny.

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haha your power hose was robbed and the shitty bike

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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