Based on every event that ever happened on Earth, where is a terrorist most likely to plant a bomb? Site B. Many more people play CS:GO than attempt to bomb any real-world location. Site A is a close second.

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Mom says my name I reply Coming.

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How do you offend a black man? Call him a nigger.

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Why is it okay to have four cats? Because I said so.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa? Tiger woods is a famous golf player and Santa is a fictional old man dressed in red and white who is said to live in Lapland, have an airborne sleigh driven by eight magical reindeer and come down the chimney to fill childrens' stockings on Christmas eve.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What's worse than finding out your husbands gay...........finding out he's gay with your brother"

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what electronic vegetable sits in a chair? stephen hawking

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How do you make a hobo cry? You steal his trash.

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Jimmy went for a walk in the jungle, and he got lost!!

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Kim Jong Un thinks that he is in shape. And when you think about it, he's right. Round is a shape.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape a duck

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George W. Bush

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Q: why do orphans always go hard? A: because the can never go home.

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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Q. A couple went on a boat. The boat sank. Every single person died, who survied? A. The couple.

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Why didn't Little Timmy's parrot talk? It's neck had snapped.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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Do you know any anti-jokes. Yeah, I do. It's a bit pointless though.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Food and blankets from a nearby shelter.

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what do round tank toilets do? blow up CC

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Luke, I am your father... Uh... Okay, thats chill, so uh, is my last name Vader or somthing? No son, my name is Anakin Skyw... NOOOOOOOOOOO THATS IMPOSSIBLE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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