A kangaroo walks into a bar, he hops up to the bartender, and asks for a martini. The bartender, not knowing exactly what to do, goes into the back to his boss's office. He says "Hey, there's a kangaroo up front askin' for a martini...do we serve kangaroos?" His boss replies "Ya, of course, but these kangaroos, they aren't too smart, so charge him like 50 bucks for the drink." The bartender agrees and goes back up front to serve the kangaroo. He pours the martini and hands it to the kangaroo, the kangaroo thanks him and says "How much do I owe you?" The bartender replies "50 bucks." The kangaroo then reaches into his pouch, pulls out a fifty dollar bill, and puts it on the counter. He finishes his drink and begins to hop away. As he is leaving, the bartender says "Hey, wait, we don't get many of your kind around here, why is that?" And the kangaroo replies "I'm not surprised at THESE prices!!!" and hops out.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

thumb_up thumb_down -12

You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

WHY DO IDIOTS RIGHT STUPID JOKES BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING BETTER TO DO WITH THERE LIVES.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Pete and Repeat were sitting in a boat. Pete fell off. I hope he was wearing a personal flotation device.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the name of Hellen keller's dog? She doesn't have a dog, she's blind and deaf and would not be able to give it the adequate amount of care. Additionally, it's morally reprehensible to make fun of Helen Keller.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the blind and deaf kid get for Christmas? Cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why shouldn't gingers smoke before they are 3? Because they have souls and still abide by the same rules!........................................................................................................................................ If you laughed at that you either don't like gingers or should be shot. And by the way... Why did Snape kill Dumbledore? Because he had to.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

thumb_up thumb_down -12

When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's worse than a tree getting cut down? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Jew say when he walked into a bar? Ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

knock knock whos there make up make up who hahahaha you said make a poo

thumb_up thumb_down -12

There were three elephants in a bathtub. One said, "Pass me the soap." The other one said, "What do you think I am? A Radio???"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is big green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree A pool table

thumb_up thumb_down -12

why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many babies does it take to change a light bulb? None. Babies shouldn't be changing light bulbs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How to pick up chicks Pick up a chicken but must be a baby

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q. What do you call a person with no arms, legs, torso, or head? A. A mutilated corpse.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You pour cold water on her head or make a loud noise nearby.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Brother : you see this hand Sister : yes Brother : if you dont leave ill slap you with it Sister : no you wont !SLAP!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops