What's worse than finding a worm on your apple? Trench foot on your eyebrow.

A black man and a white man enter a public toilet. They both begin to pee at the urinals. The whiteman peers over to the blackman mid-pee. He is dissappointed to find that the black man's penis is not large according to stereotype and then blushes embarassed by his own latent homosexuality. They both leave the toilet and never see eachother again. The white man cries himself to sleep later that night. 'I've been hiding too long' he thinks.

Two kiwis are in a fridge. Suddenly, the door opens, and one of them is pulled out by a human hand. He was never to be seen again.

How do you know when an Asian has robbed your house? You have informed the police, who in turn searched the house for DNA evidence, eventually leading them to the criminal, who just so happened to be a troubled Asian teenager attempting to join a local gang.

What do you do when you're given a phonebook? You ask for their name.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

Two muffins were in an oven. The first muffin says: 'It sure is hot in here!' The second muffin says: 'Why are they only cooking two muffins?'

your mom's so fat that even the biggest case of cancer couldn't brake through her flubber its so big

Why did the man launch his rocket into the sun? He didn't. Overcoming the sun's orbital pull would require your rocket to travel ~7,400,000 mph, which is a velocity that is impossible for today's rockets to reach.

Chuck Norris' beard takes 1st 2nd and 3rd in the most impressive beard catagory. He was the only contestant.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Jeffery Dahmer. Oh, good, you're finally here!

p

What did one apple say to the other apple? -Nothing, apples can't talk

Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

Why is minecraft so awesome? Because real life is boring as crap.

Ask me if my names Troy. Is your name troy? No, it's Roy.

I like my wine like I like my children... Eight years old and locked in a cellar

In Soviet Russia, you wouldn't have a likely chance of surviving because of Stalin's mass paranoia and total neglect for his fellow man.

Why couldn't Jack join the football team? Jack has down syndrome

Roses are grey. Violets are grey. I'm colorblind.

What's the sound of one hand clapping? The same as two hands; just not as loud.

Why can't you tell jokes in Base 8? Because 7, 10, 11

What do you call a black man with no arms? Trustworthy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...