"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Not Suzy" "Why?" "Because she has no arms"

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how do you call someone? use a phone

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A Great White Shark eats a baby seal's mother. Great White Sharks don't feel remorse.

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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Why was the truck driver speeding down the road? To get to his mother's funeral. Why didn't the baby cross the road? Because it didn't have any guts.

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why did the turtle beat the rabbit ? because the rabbit eventually got shot

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And so the baseball says to the tractor........ Your not my dad

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What's the different between jelly and jam? I can't jelly my penis up your butthole

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Why can't bob fix it? I through a frige at him.he died.

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Roses are red violets are blue I fucked your mom now im about to fuck you to.

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What do you call it when an old person cuts off their fingers? Dementia

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Three men walked into a bar. The last one ducked.

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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The once was a man from Nantucket, Who gave up on his life and said "damn this!" Then he won lots of money, His future looked bright and sunshiny Until one day he suddenly died

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Roses are black. Violets are black. Everything is black. I'm Helen Keller.

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Whats black and hanging from a tree in my backyard? A tire swing

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Roses are Red, I have a phone, Nobody texts me, Forever alone.

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A man walks in to a bar, what does he say? Ouch.

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why was the black man on the bus? cause he needed to get to work

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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What did the white guy say to the Mexican guy? Nothing he realize that the Mexican guy probably didn't speak English and he couldn't speak Spanish so conversing with this man would have been pointless.

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Friend: how obsessed are you with harry potter on a scale from 1-10 Me: 9 and 3/4

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I painted my dog to look like pizza. Someone ate him. It was my mom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops