I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

why cant the kid find any friends? he was stranded in a desert.

I heard that the Boston marathon was a BLAST!

What is the meaning of life? Definitions of life on the Web: a characteristic state or mode of living; "social life"; "city life"; "real life" the experience of being alive; the course of human events and activities; "he could no longer cope with the complexities of life" the course of existence of an individual; the actions and events that occur in living; "he hoped for a new life in Australia"; "he wanted to live his own life without interference from others" animation: the condition of living or the state of being alive; "while there's life there's hope"; "life depends on many chemical and physical processes" the period during which something is functional (as between birth and death); "the battery had a short life"; "he lived a long and happy life" the period between birth and the present time; "I have known him all his life" the period from the present until death; "he appointed himself emperor for life" a living person; "his heroism saved a life" liveliness: animation and energy in action or expression; "it was a heavy play and the actors tried in vain to give life to it" living things collectively; "the oceans are teeming with life" the organic phenomenon that distinguishes living organisms from nonliving ones; "there is no life on the moon" biography: an account of the series of events making up a person's life a motive for living; "pottery was his life"

Knock knock Go away

Q:What's the greatest part about having sex with twenty five year old girls? A: There's 20 of them

What do an elephant and a grape have in common? Well, depending on your ideological views they are either both God's creations or two examples of species which have evolved over time. That is all.

One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because the mas of the ice-cream gathered up enough potential energy to increase the velocity of said ice cream making a mess on the ground.

I have a phone, Don't know where it's at, Forever Alone FAPFAPFAP

Q. What is ginger and ginger? A. a ginger

I need a way to meet local babes and get ripped in 4 weeks. Shame there aren't any popularly advertised methods of doing that around here...

josh moran where your Bluetooth gone?

A. Why did the man crash the car? B. Because the driver was a blind man with no arms, who happened to have a psychological problem affecting his brain's ability to detect movement, thus making the car crash.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was being chased by a serial rapist.

How do you stop a black man from committing a crime? You throw him a basket ball.

How do you catch a unique animal? You get professional hunters to catch the animal.

What do you call a man with no arms an no legs in the ocean? Bob What do you call the same man on your front porch? Matt What do you call the same man on your wall? Art

learn. advance!

Why did Johnny disappear? He was sucked into a vacuum toilet on an air jet.

who looks like a double rainbow? gun baby who was pregant and rapes her

you: have you seen the movie constapated them:no you:its because it hasen't come out yet

What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless

Why did Susie fell off the swings? Because she didn't have any arms or legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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