What would Jesus do? Something that would in getting nailed to a piece of wood.

What is green and fuzzy and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? An elephant I lied!

Why did the bird lose all of it's feathers? It got cancer.

When life gives you lemons, you probably just found lemons.

Knock knock! Who's there? ADHD ADHD wh-? SQUIRREL!

Why did the 60 y/o man take erectile dysfunction pills? His doctor prescribed them.

Q.If I have four apples and billy has 4 oranges, how many pancakes will fit on the roof. A. 3 because aliens like purple hats.

What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

What would Steve Jobs be doing if he were alive today? Dying.

How did leatherface cut a tree when he lost his chainsaw? He just asked a friendly neighbor to borrow him a axe

Why didn't the boy want his dinner? Because it was a bowl of vomit.

Why did the woman scream when she saw the mouse? Because she's afraid of technology.

You know what's catchy? A cold

thomas!!!!

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

What is your favorite color???? My mom I got u s o godd.

Q: How many babies does it take to paint a room? A: Depends on how hard you can throw.

How many gay people does it take to make a football team? 11

What's the difference between a black man and a Jew? The sandwich is hidden under the couch, and is non-migratory.

What is green and drives around in the desert and is not a tank? secretly a tank

What's brown and red? I lied about the red, it's dirt.

Ask me if im a truck are you a truck no

What did the fat girl mean when she said, " last night was amaziing?" that pizza pie you shared was very well crafted and baked

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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