How to stop a baby from crying? Hit it with a brick

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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A dog, a cat, and a a fish were having a conversation while their owners were away. Ashton Kutcher is a murderer.

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A plumber walks into a bar and the bartender says "What will it be?" and the plumber says "no drinks thank you, I'm here to fix the toilet."

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What's the difference between a goat and a cherry? You can't put a goat on top of your ice cream.

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What happens when a black man is swinging in a tree? He is enjoying the swing set I helped his father put up.

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Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

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Why was the Tyrannosaurus Rex such an aggressive animal? it had short arms so it could not masturbate.

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what is more fun than shower time with adele. a mass gang bang with antonia

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Teacher- What comes after 69 Boy- Mouthwash?? Teacher- LEAVE!

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Ask me if I'm a tree..... "are you a tree?" No.

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What is the difference between a dog and pile of dead babies? One of them is alive.

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your know what grinds my gears? when I throw my car into park while going 90 on the highway.

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Why did Sally cry at the wedding? somebody shot her future husband.

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Why was the boy sad? His cookies are gone.

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What do you call a black man standing on top of a church? "Holy-Shit."

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Ask me what my name is. What's your name. My name is Jeff.

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There were three blondes hanging off a freezing cold helicopter. A burnette, a red head, and a blonde. The redhead's hands were getting cold so she let go so she could blow on them to keep them warm. She fell off the helicopter and down the cliff. A little later, the burnette did the same thing, i mean their hands were cold. But the blode then said " guys, your doing it wrong. You have to do it like this." She blew one hand at a time, " not like this: she showed them how they did it and fell off too.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The horse does not reply because it is a horse. The horse walks out of the bar kicking over some chairs and scaring some people because he is a horse and horses do not belong in public atmospheres.

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Knock knock. Who's there?

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A pilot walks into a bar just before his last flight of the day. "Give me a stiff one to get through this last flight, I've had a long day," the pilot tells the bartender. The bartender promptly refuses the pilot service and kicks him out of the bar, since operating an aircraft under the influences of alcohol would at least constitute gross negligence and at worst, murder.

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4/20 is a holiday just like Christmas.. I lied you just get baked

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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