How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Make hurtful and upsetting remarks about her person.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

I love pissing people off :P

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's brown and hides in the closet? The Diarrhea of Anne Frank.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was the door opened? Because I opened it

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Its behind you like if you looked behind

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A man felt a pain in his stomach. He went to the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the difference between 2 pieces of meat? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the black man buy a gun? because he wanted to go hunting.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why didn't Clemson accept John Burns' college application? Because John Burns was wanted for five counts of first degree murder.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What's the worst thing that can go wrong while trying to archieve something you desperately want? -Everything.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q. How many blonds do you know? A. I don't know any blonds, but are you perhaps talking about blondes? Because if so, I still don't know any.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender asks why the long face. The guy responds because cancer is a horrible disease. Oh yah did I mention the guy has cancer? $

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the homeless man get for his 34th birthday? 34 years of regret.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One asks the other "Isn't it hot in here?" To which the other replies, "Holy ****, a talking muffin!"

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between 31 dead hookers and a Lamborghini? One is a traumatizing tragedy that left at least 31 poor families mourning for their loved ones, whom were only trying to make a living in what is a terrible economy and were unable find a better job, and the other is an overpriced sports car.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Hey what did you do on The weekend??? I got hit by a bus!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you stop a black man from bleeding? You give him a bandaid. What if he keeps crying? Tell him to stop. What if he cries more? Buy him an ostrich.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How do you piss off a jew slash his tires

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

thumb_up thumb_down +1

My Mom was strutting down the runway. Then she got trampled by a plane.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

what is awesome but stupid at the same time? school i lied about the awesome part :p

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Want to hear a joke? ...you're straight.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops