Alcoholic walks into a bar and then walks out because he promised his children and wife that he would straight out his life.

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What's the difference between and train carriage and a miscarriage? You can't eat a train carriage!

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why didnt the black guy die on the bus fire? The fire was in the front of the bus!

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I'm Polish.

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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Your legs are more open than my back door! Which is closed.

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Why did the frog commit suicide? Because his mother was a typewriter

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what do you call a clown in makeup? a clown, clowns are supposed to wear makeup.

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Knock Knock who's there? Steve Steve who? Steve. I already told you my name.

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How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

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Do they have a fourth of July in England? Yes, but it is just a sad reminder to them that all the cool people left for America.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Why did the chicken change the projector reel? To get to the other slide.

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A man walked into a bar. He stayed for a bit and had a good time.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have the Cadillac, Get the Guns

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A storm be brewin!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Now on breaking news!: Man found hanged upside down in a forest with 403 lethal knife-stabs in his back! Policeman: "We have concluded this is indeed the worst case of suicide ever"

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In Opposites Land, you might think the opposite of small is big. But no, it's nail clippers.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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a man ran into a bar screaming. he now has a severe coma

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Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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Why did the cow cross the road? Because he escaped the farm and didn't know what else to do.

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops