- Anti Joke

what's better than winning the special olympics? -not being retarded

What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

hiya

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff

How do you get 50 Babies into a phone booth? A blender How do you get them out? Doritos

Knock Knock Who's there? The Holocast ...

Knock Knock. Whose there? Bond. Bond who? James Bond. na-na NA NA na-na na

knock knock, whos there? billy i dont know who you are, please get away from my front door before i call the authorities

You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

I've always hated people saying "last one there is a rotten egg" because don't you want to be a rotten egg so you don't get eaten?

Wanna hear something dirty? Mud.

A black man walks in to a bar and say ouch! A jewish man walks in to a bar and later sews that same bar for he and the black mans injurys.

Why doesn't McDonald's sell hot dogs? They don't want to advertise for McWeenies.

Whats the difference between a girl and a guy? one receives and one delivers.

Roses are Orange Violets are Green I'm Colorblind..

A woman gets home from bying tampons to use later in the month. She walks into the house and sees a heart box with a note from her husband of 5 years. The note reads: Roses are red - violets are blue - Fudge Is Sweet - Heres some Fudge...........She then puts the note down, eats the fudge, and has diarrhea a few hours later. The husband comes home and feels bad because he forgot that fudge upsets his wife's stomach. Later that night the wife asks her husband to have anal sex with her. The husband agrees but later regrets his action since his dick is now discolored and smells of shit..........Two days later the family dog dies. The wife and husband mourn. I like cheese

Me: Ask my if I'm a secret agent. You: Are you a secret agent? Me: I cannot disclose that information.

Q: Whats Red And Has Socks? A: An Apple, I Lied About The Socks..

How do you get a black man out of his house? you ring the doorbell.

One day a black man went and bought a car with his own hard-earned money.

jeffrey: Do you know what happened on the 5th of november? gerald: No jeffrey: I cant remember

DO NOT CONTACT THE ONES THAT LEFT! I REPEAT DO NOT CONTACT THE NEWCOMERS THAT LEFT! Nero7 was not the only one that became suspicious when we suddenly found thousands upon thousands of new potential members more than willing to join us, many of not most of them, before even learning any essential details about our purpose! While many morons and idiots assumed that Neronism was becoming popular, we all fucking know that we have done everything to keep this all hidden! And then suddenly everything from wealthy people to politicians arrive? No way! Nero7 is with us, and while we have thanks to the hidden camera`s he insisted we install about everywhere except under the goddamn toilet bowls, we have concluded that these people all have similar racial traits, and all speak the same language. Nero7 is barely conscious due to fever, but he keeps pointing at the screen and shouting Russian Spetznas! If this is true, (and to us it sounds Russian and they are obviously very coordinated and no simple grunts) Then we are all screwed... I mean from Nero7`s feverish ramblings and and his database, we can only assume that this is some sort of rogue sub department, of a smaller force than we first assumed, but these guys consist first and foremost of specialized soldiers and hackers... We are scrambling for ideas, exit strategies, while doing our best to get Nero7 out of here, he suggests we question the mercenary that assaulted him which is in prison. I fear we might have to break our ethics and code of honor among many things here, but getting that mercenary out and... Somehow getting answers from him, might be our last hope. Listen "Eliza" if any of you got any Intel at your position, let us know, we are well hidden considering these men that have taken over most of what we can at this point say Was the order, at least the one we knew... Listen, if you got any Intel from your position, let us know, and damn it if these bastards begin killing people, any of you for that matter... ...At this rate the order will end up exposed, and remembered as some terrorist mindwashing religious cult... If you have anything, even ideas, share them with us, damn... All these years with efforts, creating a system of our own... Never hurting a damn fly, it seems like it is all going to end with most of our members getting recruited by a handful of specialized Russians or killed...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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