How many lollipops does it take to shingle a dog? Purple, because ice cream has no bones.

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A dimetrodon, a pterosaur and a chicken walk into a bar. As they enter, the bartender says "Hold it! We are not licensed to serve dinosaurs." "I am not a dinosaur," said the dimetrodon. "Neither am I," said the pterosaur. "But I am," said the chicken. So the dimetrodon and the pterosaur enjoyed a cold beer each, but the chicken had to wait outside.

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Hey I've got two stories. This one and the next one.

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what did the man say to his cat? sex. -teagan doherty

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what did the pumpkin muffin say to the blueberry muffin? nothing, because muffins can't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Barack obama

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What happened to Kanye West when he interrupted a KKK ritual meeting? He was promptly hung from a tree for being a negro.

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An elephant and a hippopotamus were taking a bath. The elephant said to the hippo, " Please pass the soap." The hippo replied, "No soap, radio."

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What did the down syndrome kid get for christmas? Pulmonary Embolisms.

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Yo momma's so hairy when you were born you almost died from rug burn.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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q ggggggggggggggggg

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Chuck Norris was the leading role in the television show Walker, Texas Ranger.

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i think quinn is gay? you probably don't know him but when i walked him on him shoveling a ken doll is his butt

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What do you call a fish with no eye? Blind.

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A man walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, it hurts when I poke my leg like this!" The doctor replies "That because there's a knife in your hand."

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a priest and a jewish guy walk into a bar. they both drink as expected and go home to their families

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why did the cow cross the road because he wanted to go to the mooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooove

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George Bush told Jared Fogle that he did 9/11. Jared Fogle replied "I did 9 11 year olds"

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Billy Idol walks into a New York City Bar. He snorts lines of coke with his comrades in the bathroom and continues his night by having sex with attractive underage females

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Congratulations, sir. The judge has determined that the charges of traffic violation against you were indeed incorrect, and you will be given a large sum of cash for your wasted time.

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How do you know when your pizza is ready? When the oven timer goes off, indicating that it is done.

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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Your momma has such a bad pancreas that it releases insulin into her bloodstream all the time. NOT just in response to glucose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops