Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because no cars were coming.

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It's not just a boulder. It's a rock! A rooooocckk!

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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Whats funnier than a massacre? Everything.

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If life gives you melons, you have dyslexia.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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why did the irishman leave the bar he had to go to his sons birthday party

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Q: Why did the boy fall off his bicycle? A: Because someone threw a fridge at him.

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What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

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What did the kid say to the ice-cream Man Can I have a duck please

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Why did the guy die. He OD on drugs

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I am tying up hostages. - Ethan R. 2015

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What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he got hit by a bus. Why did he get hit by a bus? Because his mom was laughing. Why was his mom laughing? Because she was driving the bus. Why was she driving the bus? Because the boy fell off a swing. Why did he fall off a swing? Because he didn't have any arms. Why didn't he have any arms? Because his diabetic monkey had the flu. Why did his diabetic monkey have the flu? Because the boy was crying.

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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Why did the black man have sex with the white woman? Because they were married.

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops