There was a dog and a cat. What happens next? The cat's not there anymore. Neither is the dog. Can you guess what happend? The dog ate the cat, but the cat was his friend, so the dog committed suicide.

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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What's worse than winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Your adopted

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What would you say if you girlfriend got hit by a train? Trick question, trains don't go through kitchens!

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What's the difference between a man and a woman? The latter has two additional letters added to the beginning.

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Everyone is different, but there are two of me, therefore I am unique. I have 72 different personalities, which all think, act and behave the same, all have my same name, but its still different to have such a thing eh? No I am not asking, I just added that weird little lightbulb symbol after "eh". People buy my book, its full of this nonsense... Its named "Are you left winged, or wrong winged" The book that has nothing to do with politics, and everything to do with politicians non existent sexlife! (seriously I had a book signing today... It was weird, people like stood in line twenty Signatures... AND PEOPLE ARE ALL GOING "HEY ARE YOU THAT GUY FROM HORSEHEAD?" Nero -WHO THE FUCK! IS THAT GUY ON HORSEHEAD?

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Why couldn't Timmy ride his bike? He didn't have a bike, his family was very poor and did have much money. Therefore a bike for Timmy was the last of their concerns.

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Y did the boy fall down the stairs???? He was In a wheel chair

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Hey I just met you you are a sneaker smell my gym socks and then pick oot throughyour nose

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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What did Voldermort say to harry potter? i raped you mum last night!

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Why was the girl sad? Because borat came had DA SEXI TIME with yo mother in law:)

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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How do you make an electrician cry? Kill his family.

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Why didnt the man make it to work? Because he was in a fatal car accident.

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Little Susie fell of the swings. Where did she go? On the ground.

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What's old and baggy? An old bag.

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What did the baby get for his birthday? An Abortion.

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whats the diffrence 2 gay people and 1 gay person? A 1 person diffrence

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Why couldn't the kitten drink its milk? Because his face was stapled to the wall.

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Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Let's go ride bikes!

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops