A bloke runs into the bank, says to the girl "Stick 'em up!" She says "Righty-o, matey" and sellotapes his bollocks to the ceiling.

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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Justin with a hat.

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It's weird how two of the SAME jokes can get different ratings.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything is black, I am blind.

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What do you call a black man with a gun a soldier who is fighting for his country

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How do you make a baby fit in a bottle? Blender.

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If God created the world, including man kind, why do we worship him? We are corrupt, selfcentered, animal slaughterers. He made us this. So, Why?

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Why don't you run over a black guy on a bike? Because It's probably your bike..

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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If life hands you lemons you're probably hallucinating

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Why did the black guy wear a hat? To keep the sun out of his eyes

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What do you call a doctor without a head? Deceased

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What happens when you cross an Asian with a bass guitar? An Asian man lies down diagonally across a bass guitar.

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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Why are fish so easy to weigh? Because usually they've been killed, stunned or sedated first.

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Why did the little boy stop looking for his ball? Because he found it.

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why was 6 afraid of 7? Because ever since 3 died, 7 had changed. He had turned aggressive and randomly snapped and hit out at some of the other numbers for no apparent reason.

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Why is the white man sad? Because he watched the titanic

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Two dogs went out for a walk. Then their master took them home.

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What did the resently released criminal get for his birthday? a nice sweater

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? He had no arms or legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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