Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman? A. Cause you have to hollow out it's head! A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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Factors that can increase your risk of prostate cancer include: Older age Being black Family history of prostate cancer Obesity My friend's grandfather is black and obese, his 70th birthday is tomorrow and his dad died of prostate cancer

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Man 1: Is your refrigerator running? Man 2: Nope, broke last week.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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how do you make a homosexual man have sex with a woman? shit in her vagina

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Why did the little boy cry? Because his parents were shot in the face while he was forced to watch you insensitive jerk Now walk away ????

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"knock, knock" "who is there?" Gestapo

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What did Timmy want for Christmas? Parents.

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YEAH THEY DO!

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Q: Why couldn' the muslim eat pork? A: Because he had been raped and killed by a giant scorpion.

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Yo mama so fat that when she goes to the movies she sits next to everybody.

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Doctor! Doctor! There's a fly in my soup! Gross.

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A man wanted to kill himself.. He did.

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Where is Tampa Bay, Florida?

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A bear comes across some people on a camping trip. But he then promptly leaves, because bears aren't inherently aggressive unless caring for their young or if they are provoked.

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In an all out brawl between the casts of Gilligan's Island, Hogan's Heroes and the Brady Bunch, who would be the winner? The Viewer

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What do you get when a fat kid eats a donut... A Heart Attack.

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What did the orphan get for Christmas? Cancer.

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what is the differnce between my truck and chuck norris? i eat my own poop.

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There was a kid and one day he didnt do his homework...he failed.

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your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

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Where was the Decoration Of Independence Signed? At the bottom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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