life is like a box of chocolates... it doesnt last long for fat peopl

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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poopy is poopy

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What do you call a man with no eyes? A hero for going to war and surviving being tortured by the Vietnamese.

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Your momma soo fat.... that if she doesnt start exercising and eating right she will be more likely to get adult onset diabetes.

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Aodhan, Kevin, Taggart and Caoimhin walk into a bar. They have drinks and then leave.

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a woman walks into a bar, she was quickly kicked out and escorted back to the kitchen

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a grasshopper walks into a bar the bartender says hey we have a drink named after you the grasshopper says what dave?

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What did one tree say to the other tree? Nothing, trees can't talk.

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Q. What is a deaf man's favorite song? A. Nothing, because he can not hear.

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What did the Chinese guy say to the black guy? Nothing, the black guy dosen't speak chinese.

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Q: What's a crutch's favorite song? A: Lean on me

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What happens when you light a truck full of babies on fire and drive it off a cliff filled with lava and set off explosives when they land? The babies die. www.youtube.com/LouisGames www.twitch.tv/KiLM_Ghostz

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What do you get when you cross a chicken with a road? To get to the other side.

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Why was Rebecca Black beaten with a pole when she sang Friday? It was Saturday

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How do you tell if someone likes butter? You ask them

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How do you catch a green elephant? you paint it red and use a Red Elephant Trap

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your mama's so ugly, she suffers from chronic deppression.

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pretty soon we'll all be dead

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Bend over Touch your toes I'll show you where The monster goes

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Why didn't Joe catch the baseball? He got shot by a local gang.

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

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Roses are brown I likes clouds This joke isn't funny so don't laugh

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops