Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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On a scale of 1 to 10, how high are you? Very.

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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What starts with f and ends in u-c-k? a:****

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you give like i give lomain

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You: "Ask me if im an astronaut. " Them: "R u an astronaut?" You: "No. "

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Q: Why did the man have sex with Amanda Seyfried? A: Are you kidding me?

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AIDS is not a lifestyle it's a choice - and you chose wrong.

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What's the differece between a rock and a black guy? A rock can't eat fried chicken.

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Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? He's dead.

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1 tip for a flat belly so eating so much u fat bitch

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie!

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Why was Billy lat to school? He was being raped.

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If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

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Think of the worst thing you know of and add dead babies

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No, you would have made me unhappy and yourself miserable, until you truly value who you are, as we that still look up to you to this day, you wont see the greatness within you.

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what did the little boy say to his mom? nothing his mother died in childbirth.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 6 and 7 are non-living objects and cannot show fear or anger.

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The Lord told Moses to come forth. He tripped and came fifth.

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear, The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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I guess calling you dear was a bit overboard for you huh? Well, just promise me you will get whatever help you need if you get ill.

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there's a bus full of black people what do you call the white bus driver? coach.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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How do you make a man cry? you torture him

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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