What does a boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

Q: Playstation 4 or Xbox One? A: Both of them are specialized desktop computers used to play video games. It makes no sense to argue or attempt to make any distinction, as they are the exact same thing.

When it comes ro the zodiac my grandmother was a cancer and... She ws killed by... A giant crab

Two chemist walk into a bar. The Bartender ask them what they want. The first chemist says he wants H20. The second chemist laughs and says he wants H20 too. Then he dies.

What's the difference between a banana and a monkey? They're both yellow, except the monkey

What's Funny and has two Wheels A kids falling off his bike

Your gay

What's blck and blue and doesn't like sex? The ten year old in my car.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.

How many blondes does it take to change a light bulb? One. Unless she's particularly short, then she may need to get a friend, who may or may not be blonde, to help by holding the ladder.

What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

There's a blind man walking on the south coast of England. He walks off a cliff.

why couldn't the boy talk? Because he was dead

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

chuck norris will never have a heart attack because he has great cardiovascular health.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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