a man walked into a bar he had no recollection of entering the bar so he exited the bar

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Roses are red Violets are red Your flowers are red Yes set your garden on fire

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Okay, but lets write a contract, if you regret your decision at anytime, you get it all back, minus what I have spent of course, both I and my wife have always wanted to live in a house by the sea, hopefully you nearby. You know, I have never been truly happy because I thought I could change this world, now I know that I tried and failed, maybe I can change myself instead, they say that true change comes from within.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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How do you know when some one is a complete dick? When they hit the prestige buttom in Black Ops when your taking a dump. N.P.P.

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Why did the duck eat the fish? It needed protein.

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why do people put their pants on in the morning? because their not nudists.

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how do you make a plumber cry?.... kill his family

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roses are red violets are blue holy sh*t slendermans behind you

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What do you call black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist bastard

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Asian son: "I'm using a calculator for my math" Asian mother: "Why not you calculatnow!"

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because I took a swing at it with a golf club.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Q: whats worse than finding a worm in your apple A: the holocaust

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Why did the robber wear a mask? Because he had eczema.

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Jesse gets back at people who takes his job, by trying to get with their sloppy seconds.. Emphasize trying.

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If pro is the opposite of con, what is the opposite of progress? Deteriorate

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Thats the magic of Moral Man, I do not make people my bitches, they curl up and do it all for me. Moral: HEEEEEY BITCHEEEEEES! WAZZAAAAP!

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why is brennan hart a dumbass idk ask his mom

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Whats the difference between a green apple and a red apple? Their colors.

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why did the boy fall off his bike? someone threw a fridge at him

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? Well, the difference is quite obvious. one's a car, the other's a dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops