Q: How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a dog house, if your parents are a washing machine and a dryer? A: Trick Question, dog houses can't fly!

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the astronaut say when he stepped on the moon? Oops, sorry.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red.. Your child is also red.. I drove my car over his face. <3

thumb_up thumb_down -11

raising eyebrows to expose eyes can also be a signal of attraction ('I'm looking at you, gorgeous. Can you see?').

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did the cop say to his belly? "Hey in there!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What did jonah say to your mum ... Nothing jonah is your mum

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's the opposite of a joke? An anti-joke. You're reading one right now.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

a man walks into a bar... he was shot to death because he was a slave during the 1910s

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's brown, smelly, and will never have a job? Poop.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What comes after 23? 24.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How does it change many dyslexics take to a lightbulb.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats brown and sticky? A antelope.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school. I said, "Wow, I can't believe I just found an iPhone on the ground at lunch during school." Later that day, my principal gassed the kindergarten classrooms with cyanide while shouting, "GO RAIDERS!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the Mexican jump the American border? Because he wanted a better paying job to support his family, and legal immagration to the States is a lengthy and highly difficult process.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Roses are red, violets are blue, can I have a ball? No these can't be removed

thumb_up thumb_down -11

So a guy walks into the doctors and say "Doctor it hurts when i poke my knee like this" the doctor says "Let me see your hand" the doctor squeezes the patients finger and the patient says "ow!" the doctor says "now poke you knee again" the patient pokes his knee and says "it still hurts" so the doctor comes to a conclusion and says " you dont have a broken kneecap you have a broken finger, stupid, now get out and leave me alone!"

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's green and goes through walls? A: A pickle, you just have to throw it really hard.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the black man offer the girl flowers? It was his niece's birthday.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? we will never know he never opened it

thumb_up thumb_down -11

How you know when dislextic

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferari? A: I don't have a ferari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops