Knock, knock! Who's there? No one. No one actually knocked on your door because this is just a joke.

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I like my coffee like i like my women, blonde with big boobs.

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you walk into a bar Griffin: 'are you ok'

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What do airplanes and trees not have in common?? Bananas

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Roses are gray, Violets are gray, I'm colorblind, I hate my life

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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What did the depressed teenage fat kid do to resolve his issues? Commited suicide.

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What did the Taliban teenager strap on his chest before getting on the bus? A blue rubber dildo.

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What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup? Roast Beef is a solid and Pea Soup is a liquid

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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What do you call it, when a jew makes fun of a black guy? Racism.

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What is similar about Michael Jackson and Walmart? Nothing they have nothing to do with each other

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How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Q: Why shouldn't you walk under a ladder? A: Because it could fall on top of you. Be a reasonable human being and just fly OVER the ladder.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven hundred and eighty nine.

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What do you call a man whos had his arms ripped off in front of you? An ambulance, because with an injury such as this, you can die anywhere between 10 and 45 minutes

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Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

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A man finds a woman stumbling around on the street... So he asks sarcastically "what drugs are you on?" The lady starts crying and says "I was raped"

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roses are blue violets are green I am colorblind

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How do you get four gay men on one stool? You get three more stools.

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A Priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar together. They discuss the fundamentals and aspects of Religion.

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Why cant Helen Keller drive? ......because women cant drive(:

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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