there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

Do you know what's the sexiest thing in the world? Sex.

just imagine like a whole dad no imagine like 1000 dads an army of dads ready to conquer

what do you call a black woman pregnant with twins? A woman who has a loving husband who she wanted to have children with so when they had sex, 2 of his sperm fertilized the egg so now she gets to raise two children which she is looking forward to, but she also knows it will be alot of work.

man 1 walks by man 2 man 1 says hey buddy whats up man 2 responds do i know you man 1 says no but i saw you seeing a movie on friday man 2 says oh cool but wasn't that movie great man 1 responds ya and man 1 and man 2 become best friends plus man 1 only liked man 2 because he was rich!!!

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

What did the black man do after the white guy told a racist joke? Laugh

don't do anything i wouldn't do first

Artichoke is a vegetable state induced by swallowing paint

What happens when a blind man walking crashes in to man that's talking to his gang ? He wakes up in a ditch

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

Why does Tim Teblow love men? Logan Cole told him to.

Q: Whats the difference between a trash can full of dead babies, and a porch? A: A porch isnt in my garage.

Oh my god it's the twinkie mobile!

Why did the chicken successfully cross the road? It didn't in the middle of the street it got hit by a car.

Why is red? He was just murmured by a phycopath.

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To visit his mother at the hospital who is dying of cancer.

What do you call a Black guy picking cottnon? A cottonpicker

What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

What did the sleepy man say to his wife? I'm sleepy.

AIDS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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