-What's long, hard and full of semen? -Since this is a play on words both an erect penis and a naval submarine could apply here

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What does? 42

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What should you do when your husband is staggering in the back yard Shoot him again

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Roses are red lemons are sour open Your legs and gimme an hour!

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Q: Who was shot 50 years ago? A: Abraham Lincoln was shot 50 years ago! (=

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A Russian gentleman walks into a bar and requests a vodka which the bartender promptly supplies. Shortly thereafter a Turkish gentleman enters escorting a Llama on a leash and requests a vodka to which the bartender responds: "Your animal is not allowed on the premise, I am going to have to ask you to leave." The Turkish gentleman apologizes for his ignorance of the local customs and excuses himself, and shortly thereafter the Russian finishes his Vodka, pays, and leaves as well.

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Well I do want it to end now but...WHAT? How did you get that trough? I thought hypnosis was supposed to increase awareness and focus.

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Whats 1+1? The answer!

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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What did Tarzan say when he saw a herd of Elephants coming over the hill? Oh look, a herd of Elephants coming over the hill.

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Why did sara fall out of the tree? -she had no arms.. Knock knock. -who's there? not sara.

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A duck walks into a bar. He sees Khloe Kardashian sitting on a barstool. The duck runs out of the bar screaming.

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Your mother is so fat, she struggles to control her weight even with dieting. Obesity and heart disease runs is in her mother's side of the family; she and everyone close to her is very concerned.

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Q. What do you call a Widow's Husband? A. Dead...

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What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench? An effect of an overcrowded theme park

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Do you also think Daffy Duck is really attractive when he dresses up like a woman? Yeah, me neither...

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Did you just admit being considerate? I do not care about who gets the last comment anymore, I need to tear my face away from the screen ASAP.

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why was six afraid of seven? Because seven brutally murdered six's family

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what did the cat say to the dog? I turded out my crap hole

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How do you treat lice Avoid getting them

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What do you call a pig that knows karate? A pig, because even if a pig could learn karate its still a pig.

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There was a irishmen in his house. He was thirsty. so he drank some water

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What's funnier than 3 midgets in a treehouse? A talented comedian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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