What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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A man goes to the doctor. The doctor says "You have to stop masturbating." The man says "What, why?!" The doctor says "So I can examine you."

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What's green and fuzzy and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A pool table

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What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

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Two muffins were in a microwave. One muffin said, 'It's getting hot in here." What did the other muffin say? Nothing, muffins can't talk.

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Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

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Roses are black, Violets are too. I'm colourblind. Stop laughing.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Everything's black, I'm blind.

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Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

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Was the worlds most expensive comedian any fun? Well, he was funny, but they where all cheap laughs. Moral: Expensive jokes are expensive.

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What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

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Q) What do you get when you cross a brown chicken with a brown cow? A) An abomination

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Why couldn't Helen Keller read? Tree sap.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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Adam Thomas is homosexual

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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Who are the faster readers? New Yorkers, they through 110 stories in 5 seconds

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Ok so im on antijoke.com and they tell me i can write my own joke... so i did.

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Roses are red violets are blue this poem makes no sense refrigerator.

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Why was the woman in the kitchen? She came in to give her husband, who was washing the dishes, a kiss before she went to bed early so she could be well rested and get up on time to make the 45 minute commute to the hospital where she worked as a neurosurgeon the next morning.

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I hate when people see me at the store and are like "What are you doing here??" and Im just like, "Oh, you know, hunting elephants..."

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Guy 1: Why does it smell like a wet dog? Guy 2: Because I smell like a wet dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops