What did the farmer say after the chicken started talking? Holy shit a talking chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why didn't Michael Jackson celebrate his birthday? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is small, red, and can't fit through a doorway? A baby with a spear through its head. Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Words with two W's or N's in them are awkward and unnecessary.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If i had 100 dollars for every time a black president was assainted i would have 100 dollars in 4 months and six days.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Where can you find a tetraplegic? Where you left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Jack and Jill went up the hill. It was in the middle of winter and they froze to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I just met you, And this is crazy. So call me Kony, I stole you're baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

you know what hurts, a revolver bullet in your brain.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A: Ask me if I'm a tree! B: Are you a tree? A: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Q-how many dead babies does it take to paint your geradge door? A-one if you throw it hard enough

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the cannibal eat for breakfast? Waffles.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what was so bad about hitler? he inadvertently subjected his political officials to death by rope

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is it bad to smoke in a public place? Because secondhand smoke may cause lung cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why was the man so cold? He was in a fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What happened when Johnny fell off of his bike? He suffered a very tragic and fatal brain hemorrhage resulting in a lower population by a minute percentile that is undetectable by the US Census.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Q: What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Easter? A: Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Firgen and the blung brigade

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your mommas so dumb she had to climb a glass wall to see what was on the other side! But the glass was slippy so she never saw what was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

About numbers, it was 180 mg of valium... And I am going to live becausepeople got there in time, my heart never stopped because luck, the doc was only making a joke about me "having ingested enough valium to die at least twice". Sanders, I just got your girlfriend to agree to a threesome, if my banana ever wakes up again, AND WHEN... Thou areth forgiven, btw I sent him a picture of Line`s unshaved vagina, and a note stating: U recognize this? Find out more on horsehead network! Meh His name is Anders something Chattington, yeah for all that know him, guess whose finger is on her unshaven... Yeah, maybe you should not have messed with a guy that can have ANYONE. Ps: Then its your mother, then your sister which is 17 (and pretty 16 is legal here so fuck you Chatty!) and then I SHALL STRIKE THY WITH THE VENGEANCE OF A THOUSAND SUNS! Because you are forgiven, which I cant even remember what means, I mean I know I am typing my experiences here, but thats only because I remember by muscle memory where the buttons are, said the doctor... I can still play Snes emulators... Not, because my numb fingers cant click anything and Line is gone. I TOUCHED HER ALREADY YA KNO! YOU SAW THE PIC, My skin is tan, and... well you know she is here... The best part? She is totally okay with you knowing, sayonara pal, id watch the "fluor" in your mothers pussy the next time you eat it!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops