Q:How do you kill a blonde? A:The same way you kill everyone else.

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Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown Whos been shitting on my garden??

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What do you get when you mix Jabba the Hut with a hen? nothing, genetically they are unable to reproduce due to the disproportionate number of chromosomes and DNA

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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What's long and black The unemployment line

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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Whats worse than getting a splinter? Taking a shower at penn state

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"Mommy! Look, I found a turtle!" "that's no turtle." "Oh..."

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whats brown and sticky? whatever is coming from your pants

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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An American almost walks into a store when he sees a Jew. The Jew was also about to walk into the store, So the american opens the door for him and says"Jew first."

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what do you call a white man who appears to be standing on water? a surfer

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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what is the worst thing a priest could do to a little boy? brutally murder him

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Have you heard the one about the fat woman and the dead baby? The woman was actually pregnant, not fat, and just had a miscarriage.

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Paddy Englishmen, Paddy Irishmen and Paddy Scotsman walk into a bar. They realise that they all share a common name and make a casual joke about it.

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what do u call 2 puerto rician men playing basketball? won on won

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple Getting raped by a hose

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Whats green? Mountain Dew.

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What do you call a black man sitting on a porch? Relaxed.

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Why did the car drink Slurpies? I don't know. Why? Doorknob. Carl was unsure on what his friend, Frank meant when he told his joke, but then again who IS sure? Frank is the only one who truly knows what happened that day on August 13th 2010 when his mother came over for a surprise visit to her son's house just as Frank was heading out the door about to get in his truck and buy groceries, unaware that his mother was standing outside and bending over to ring the door bell not to expect Frank opening the door with his quick and violent actions thus hitting his mother in the face as the door swung open. Frank hadn't known his mother was at his house nor even remembered him but there she was, past out bleeding to death on his front lawn. It was Frank's fault that day, when his mother past away and reason why Frank hides his anger through his jokes. If only he hadn't opened that door he tells himself every night. Now he's cursed himself with his odd humour of using doorknobs as punchlines to hide his grief of his loss. And with that, Carl replies; Ummm.... I don't get it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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