What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

justin beiber sucks

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She had finished her breakfast and had to get to her job as a firefighter.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I have a pint or two.

How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

Whats the difference between a car and a baby? I would have a hard time throwing a car.

A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

Dimes are silver Pennies are brass Why does your face look like an a**

You: Why did hitler go to hell? Them: Why? You: You're an idiot.

Hi. P.S: You have aids. P.P.S: Purple penis pumpernickel pie puppets.

jim davidson , nick griffin , and bernard manning walk into a bar , and order a bitter, a lager, and a stout respectfully

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, as it was locked safely in the chicken coop.

Where do you find a dog with no legs? Right where you left it!

Whats worse than seeing your family killed in front of your eyes? Not much to be honest

How many footballs fit in a glass of liquid. none, this football is HUGE!!!

What's the best sound in the world? Children screaming

How does a Welshman take a shit? Like anyone other human being does.

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

Q. How do you punish Helen Keller? A. Rearrange the furniture in her room

Yo mama so fat that she probably has a thyroid problem.

Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

Yo momma so ugly..... what more do you want

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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