Q. What goes "ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP, ninety-nine CLUMP"? A. Nothing does.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Who needs god when coffee is cheaper

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Have a nice day! Dont tell me what to do.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the patient die of aids disorder? Butt sex. Lots and lots of butt sex.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

knock,knock you suck

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a white man in a black neighborhood a minority

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what did one wall say to the other wall Nothing because its physically impossible for walls to talk

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a kid with no legs and no arms some one who will nevaer forfill there bucket list cause they cant write it

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what do you call a cat that cant meow? Charlie Sheen.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did a chicken cross the road? To see The Doors.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Fat? Jesse Z

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what class did Jimmy get an A in? None, he is dyslexic

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two cows are standing in a field. One says to the other, 'Have you heard about this mad cow disease?' and the other says 'Good thing we're penguins.'

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the cat say to the bird? Nothing. It's a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Q. What did the Vampire say when he ate the Pizza? A. Nothing. It is literally impossible for a vampire to be real, therefore it's insane if you thought it said something.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

A Fairly ghetto African-American male and a Korean Merchant pass each other on the streets of L.A. two weeks after the Rodney King riots, what happens? The merchant nods his head to say hello to the African-American and the African-American male does the same and they both live out sucessful lives. By the way the African-American just got accepted to Harvard on a scholarship program.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

a horse is a horse. of course of course....unless its a cow

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What do you call a fly without wings? A rather unfortunate physical disability

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Judge: Why did you hit your wife with a hockey stick, Mr. Johnson? Mr. Johnson: My father and mother were mutually abusive when I grew up. As you may have guessed, this gave me a skewed view of the dynamics between husband and wife, as well as causing me to hide my emotions from myself as a defense mechanism. As a sociopath, I feel no remorse for this occurrence.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops