What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Mary had a little lamb, But it couldn't stop her from being raped.

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What did the grizzly bears have for lunch? Fish and tourists.

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A Mexican walks into Taco Bell, because it is the only restaurant within walking distance of his workplace.

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What did the man with cancer say when he got hit in the face with a crowbar? "Ow."

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why did Sally have a headache? She had a Brian tumor the size of an eggplant.

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Q: A blonde, a red-head, and a brunette all jump off the bridge at the same time. Who hits the ground first? A: As stated by Sir Isaac Newton's third law of gravitation, all three fall to their deaths at the exact same time because the velocity of a falling object is unaffected by the mass of that object... or their hair colour. Idiot.

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Holy shit Lawman! Next thing we know Nero comes back from the death! Seriously get over here stat and get "my men" under control here! So that last damn Moral was for you! I never understood why he picked me, so he never picked me at all... Man am I relieved! Do you ever fucking get tired of playing the hero? I basically ended up declaring war on Nero`s on people here, what should I do?

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A black man is setting up contingency measures of protection in his personal place of residence when all of a sudden, several warning alarms sound and a few specialized people with red "combating" devices who were alerted by the blatant scenerio unfolding before them were moving quickly in order to match previously stipulated criteria of value. The black man and his family were partaking in a monthly fire drill unfolding in their own house since they were extremely responsible, law-abiding citizens of the city they were located in that required various kinds ofl saftey precautions to be taken so to mitigate the serious chance that people might be hurt by preventable, residential distasters.

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Two hippies walk into a bar. They are both asked to leave because they are in violation of the 'no shoes, no service' policy.

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A man drove up to a drive-thru. He ordered a coke, but the lady at the window spilled it on his lap. He promptly changed his clothes and accepted the lady's apology.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Your mom is so old that her organs are starting to slowly fail and she must be put on life support or she'll die.

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Whats better than throwing a baby off a building? Catching it with a pitchfork.

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I like the color potato.

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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Justin beiber's penis

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

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The word you are looking for is charm, not seduction, I am above such things, and while I have no reason whatsoever to believe either one of us can gain anything from going "eye for an eye", I am sure I can offer whatever financial and even specialized assistance you might require in order to get that eye of yours seeing clearer than before... Worry not, I shall outlaw the name Nero and all the derivations and similarities from my Order, unless someone named Nero actually happens to come by of course...

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Rebecca Black

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? No idear.

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How does a black man get to his parent's house on Christmas? He drives

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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