When Michael Jackson was in a dark tunnel, it didn't work when he turned his flashlight. How come? A: Because it was out of battery

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Q: how do you get a live elephant into a refrigerator? A: you buy an industrial sized refrigerator from cost-co and then walk the elephant slowly but surely through the door. Q: how do you get a giraffe in a refrigerator? A: after removing the elephant by means of walking out the door, slice the giraffe into small pieces approx. 1m by 1m by 1m and put those into the refrigerator

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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An Irishman walks into a bar he asks for directions, and leaves.

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What do you call the black stuff in between an elephant's toes? Depending on the location of the elephant it is either dirt or it may be tar in the case of an elephant in captivity.

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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A flea walks into a bar. Nobody notices because it is a very small insect

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Horse walks into a bar. 'The barman says 'why the long face?' The horse says 'I've got cancer'.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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What is brown and woody? Brown wood.

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Me: Ask me if i'm a truck. You: Are you a truck? Me: No.

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What's bad about four black men in a car going over a cliff? It was my car.

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whats black and strange a paki

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So there's a black man riding a bike down the street. A police officer pulls him over to tell him that his back tire seems to be flat. The black man says thank you, and continued riding his bike. Later, he would repair his tire.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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womens rights

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How many dead babies can you fit in a tire? It depends on the size of the tire.

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Why did Lisa fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock! Who's there? *Definitely not Lisa.

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A jew enters a mall.

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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how does hitler drink soup ? with a spoon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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