walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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A man wakes up after a long night with a girl he recently met. He pulls out a cigarette, and looks for his lighter, but can not find it. He asks the girl if she has a lighter and she replies "There might be some matches in the top drawer of my dresser." He opens the top drawer and finds some matches.

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Why did the cop hate black people? He was a racist.

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How many Japanese people does it take to make a whirlpool? - None, because they're all dead.

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Guy 1 : "I like your hat." Guy 2: "That's my hair, you moron."

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Because it was cooked with eleven herbs and spices.

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Why did the woman get into a car accident? She was blind.

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Which way do 5 gay guys walk? Depends on where they're planning to go.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Some poems rhyme But this one doesn't

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in circle.

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Daughter: Dad I have some news for you Dad: What is it? Daughter: I am pregnant Dad: ... I am so happy I am going to have a grandson, my 27 year old daughter just married and now pregnant, this is a great day!

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You know who can't stand to put up with my shit? Polio victims.

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whats funny? this joke. just kidding. your face.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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How do you acquire a bomb? Go to the bomb store.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it was suicidal.

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What did Jesus say when he was nailed to the cross? AHHHH WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS!?!?!? MY HAND!!! MY HAND!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!! JUST KILL ME!!! PLEASE WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS?!?! MY OTHER HAND AHHHH!!! HAHAAAAAAAAAaaaa..... AHHHHHHH WHY?!?! MY LEG!!!! MY FOOT NO!!!!! PLEASE!!!!! Ah AH AHHHHH!

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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Why did Mary fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there. Not Mary!!

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What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair.

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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What is worse than a papercut? Losing your legs in Vietnam.

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Your momma so stupid, she speaks poorly and can't spell very well.

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BTMG JOAN!"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TOP OF THE MORNING FREE MEAT NO SANTA THIS YEAR BONE FOUNDATIONS MOUNTNORRIS WHY IS THAT BAG MOVING?????????? MR MO MOLESTOR SHIT STAINS VEGETABLE GUN OPERATION SBB OPERATION SBB (THE AFTERMATH) #SL #NSL TIN SCHACK SKI LIFT MILK STAINS NATHAN: 5 - SEATS: 0 GREEK LETTER STU THE SO

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops