How much does a polar bear weigh? Depends on the polar bear and its dietary habits

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Lil' Johnny was happily swinging on the swings when all of a sudden...... ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> ==]::::> FLYING DAGGERS!!!

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What do an owl and a squirrel have in common? They can both fly! Except for the squirrel.

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What do you call a black mailman? By his name.

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What happened to the hungry child? He got out of Africa

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Last Christmas, I gave you my heart, But the very next day, I died.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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why did john wear a red hat? because blue is his favorite color

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Q: What's orange, hairy, and covered with gasoline? A: Definitely not a chair.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Boo Boo Who? Boo Smith

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Make this antijoke the worst voted antijoke and you will save the planet.

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compardre No Pew.. Pew.. At mi OINK.. OINKs...

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THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

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A man named Hank, from Idaho takes a trip to Michigan. When he arrives, he rents a house and starts a meth lab. Hank is spending 7 years in jail. Hank was charged with stealing.

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Ehh

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungie cord? My ass.

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Why did the chicken taunt the opposing team? To get to the other side.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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A lesbian couple, a straight couple, and a gay couple walk into a bar. They enjoy their drinks and camaraderie.

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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What did the caterpillar say to the robot? Nothing. Caterpillars do not have vocal chords and there are not, as yet, any truly portable robots capable of comprehending speech so to speak to one would be pointless.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops