Roses are brown, Violets are brown, WHO THE HELL $#!T IN MY GARDEN?!

What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a pair of scissors? Nothing. That's not possible with current technology.

Why Do cats purr when you pet them? I'm actually asking a question there I don't know why.

If little Timmy buys 80 candy bars and eats 67, how many candy bars does he have left? Diabetes. Timmy has diabetes. So he was disowned.

knock knock knocking on heavens douoor

Q. Why are most jews unemployed? A. They all got fired.

For no reason at all Pac-man was being chased by evil monsters while eating his luch...He choked on his food and died

This is a stupid joke. Get it to the top of the list and Kobe Bryant will pass to you.

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

What did jimmy say when his brother had been mean to him all day and he was about to get a straw and his brother took the last one? That was the last straw!

Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

Two men fought over a bag of peanuts. The peanuts won.

Doctor Doctor! I think im turning into a carrot! Thats a side effect of the drugs Alice, We've just had your test results back. I'm sorry Alice, You've got HIV.

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

What is the best time to go to the dentist? When you have a toothache

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

why did the chicken cross the road ...WHO FREAKING CARES!!!!

When is a great time to eat chicken fingers? Never Chickens dont have fingers therefore making it misnamed and impossible to eat them

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

How do you tell the difference between a white family, and an albino black family? The albino black family suffers from a lack of pigmentation, while the white family just has a naturally pale skintone.

Why do all gingers get mad all the time except having sex? Because they enjoy it!!!

When the mom came home from work, she was very tired. Her son asked her nicely to make him a PB&J sandwich. She says sure and makes one for him. The boy was very happy and ate his sandwich. I was actually lying above. The mom was actually killed by three men in hoodies that were hiding in her backyard. The came inside and also murdered the boy. Worst of all the killers took all of the food and the rasberries the boy was looking forward to eat, Guess it doesn't matter since he is gone...

Nate has 32 candy bars. he eats 28 of them. What is he left with? 4 candy bars

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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