A Jew, a Catholic, and an Aeithiest walk into a bar. The bartender look at them and says "Is this some kind of a joke?".

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What the difference between an apple and a pear One of them is red

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A white, black, jewish, and hispanic person apply for a job as an accountant who gets the job? One of them.

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why did you poop because you are a poop

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what did the hammer do on the test -he nailed it.

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What's the same between a bike and a duck? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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Erron, who the hell do you work for? I thought we where friends, allies! We have not done anything illegal ever!

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Someone dies every second. That's 60 a minute. 3600 a hour. 86,400 a day. 604,800 a week. 31,536,000 a year. But thankfully- I don't live in Zimbabwe.

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What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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What was the only thing the little boy from tanzania had? AIDS.

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Yo momma is so ugly that she should probably consider suicide

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The Piglodocus has been featured in films such as "Jurassic Pork" and "Land before Swine".

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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Why did the chicken walk across the road? Because chickens cannot fly

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Goodbye to the people who hated on me

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Knock knock Who's there? Hi would you be interested in learning about Scientology? No

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what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

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A boy is diagnosed with terminal cancer. His family prays for him and he still dies.

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What did the deaf guy say to the other deaf guy? Nothing.

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one day a bear was eating for winter he ate about half what he had to and said "Im tired ill take a nap and eat the rest later. one month later he died of starvation

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What did the fish say when he hit the wall? A. Dam B. He Charlie I found the wall C. Both Well he didn't say both but he could have said A or B but it wouldn't make sense for him to say both.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops